Life: What Happens When You’re Making Other Plans (A Guest Post by my Mom)

October 14, 2009

This is a guest post from my Mom, a woman I respect and admire.  In 2005, she retired from nearly 20 years of work with a major corporationHer first position with that corporation was telemarketer–she worked the night shift and returned home to her other full-time job:  mother, where she prepared four children for school each morning.  She finished with the corporation as a Senior Vice President.  Just a week ago, she decided to become an employee again, a wonderful reminder that there is a difference between “having a job” and “going to work.”

How many times have you heard the expression, “Find a job you love and you’ll never ‘work’ a day in your life?”

I’m sure it’s been a source of some decisions you’ve made related to course selections, career goals, job opportunities and–ultimately–landing that primo job.Well, sometimes that expression can apply even in your “senior” years.

I loved to draw, even as a child. My signature still survives on my old First Birthday cards that my Mother neatly arranged in my baby scrapbook. I scribbled on all of them and was very proud of my work. I pursued the artistic route in high school, but never went to college. I took an office job after graduation, fell in love and got married.

I got pretty good at making babies…. four of them to be exact. It’s still the most beloved job I’ve ever had. The domesticated goddess that I became continued to feel the “gnaw to draw”; it got put on the back burner as I took another position with a major corporation.

Climbing the corporate ladder, rung by rung, became my new mantra. Until that fatal day when I opened my e-mail only to see the words “volunteer retirement” What? I’m how old and I have how many years of service? I thought I was still scribbling.

Should I stay at my job and fight to keep the position, as new, more experienced candidates came up that same ladder? Should I stay at my job (the one that now I dreaded) or should I take that leap of faith?
It was a no-brainer. I took the leap.

I had great plans to enjoy my life: go back to using the creative side of my brain. It’s been four years. Family illness, a wedding, and the birth of a new grandson have all filled the time. But wait, I’m still feeling that I’m not really retired–I’m just in the process of re-inventing myself. Who am I? What do I want? What is my purpose?

I’ve been meditating on this for years:  rewind to childhood, art, and drawing.  So, I decided to sign up for a class “The Joy of Drawing.”  (It sounded appropriate) What a joy it has been. I’m there for three hours and sometimes I never even take a sip of water. I think I could do this and it wouldn’t feel like work.

So, remember that thing called “Life?” Well it happened.  I’m walking around a store one day and I see a sign “Scrapbook Instructor Needed.” I like to be creative, my artistic juices are flowing right now, and I have some experience with scrapbooks–even if it is as a scribbler! I decided to apply for the position.  But–it’s going to be on my terms this time.

I go to my job, do what I love, and it never feels like work. I’m excited to teach people to create what they see, not what they think they should create. Wow! Is that a life lesson or what? It could relate to everything: Do what you like, not what you think you should do.

My life has been a real circus lately. A little bit of a magic act–but I can relate to the trapeze artist. I’ve let go of the bar and I’m flying. I haven’t quite reached the other side, but sometimes in mid-air, in that stillness, you get to experience life’s greatest lessons:

Don’t be afraid to let go and follow your heart. Do what you love to do. It is never too late to create your own “Still Life.”
-The Flying Stuhlinski

What do you think?  Is retirement an end or a beginning?

Share your thoughts and comments for my Mom below.

Entry Filed under: Decision-Making, Innovation and Creativity, Volunteering and Philanthropy. Tags: , , .

8 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Kelaine  |  October 15, 2009 at 7:59 am

    Dear Flying Stuhlinski, this post is inspirational and familiar. It reminds me of my good ole Dad. Pop Dukes slugged it out for 30 years at a major multi-national corporation, where things started as new and exciting but became humdrum and disenchanting by, oh I don’t know, year 22. But he hustled until he put my sister and me through college. How lucky am I? No, seriously. Thanks Dad.

    But not so fast. My dad can’t retire. (a) He’d go insane and (b) so would my poor mother. He went to grad school while working full-time (on the company’s dime, thanks kindly) and pivoted a new direction. As the recipient of ten thousand lectures and instructive moments, I could have told you that the man we affectionately call “Moral Man” should be a teacher. And so he is.

    It’s encouraging to know that if you have a passion and an open mind, your opportunities expand over time. I would like to graph that, actually.

  • 2. Jonathan Stuhl  |  October 15, 2009 at 11:33 am

    Wow Mom – what a great piece of writing!!!! You are truly an amazing woman and I am so proud to be your son. You inspire me every day. Your caring nature, love, and patience is felt even across the country. I’m happy you are doing what you love. I was sure I was going to see you on TOP CHEF…..but the next Martha Stewart is not bad either (just make sure you do your taxes!)

    I love you Mom!

    Jonathan

  • 3. Benjamin Webb  |  October 15, 2009 at 8:42 pm

    Mama Stuhl –

    First congrats on pursuing something in life more fulfilling. I heard an interesting statistic on NPR this past week saying that new research suggests that all children born after the year 2000 have a 50/50 chance of living to be 100! That at first blew me away, but when you think about it, makes some sense. I think that in the future people will have phases of work in their life… we will no longer be in the same mold of – working your butt of to get ahead, working hard for 25-30 years, and then retiring with hopefully enough money to buy that condo in Scottsdale. I think this transformation is starting to occur and our current economic environment is forcing us to think hard and long about what we value and how to survive both economically and mentally.

    I think the message of pursuing what’s important and meaningful is something that often gets lost on many individuals in my demographic. For so many individuals involved in the fast-paced world of web programming, social-based marketing, interactive web-experiences, and other careers, it is a necessity to stay as “connected” as possible to stay on the cutting edge. It is a gripe that I hear from fellow colleagues… all this technology is great but it’s starting to drag me down. It will be interesting to see how we all deal with this. What I’m hoping is that there is move away from the constant onslaught of technology back to things that are more basic and fulfilling.

    Again, congrats on your new career and all the best.

    Benjamin

  • 4. Judy Stuhl  |  October 16, 2009 at 9:43 am

    Thank you all for your insightful comments. This was my “first-ever” blog and I thank Andrew for asking me to contribute my thoughts. it has inspired me to consider developing my own blog site. Andrew you’ll be busy next week when you’re home!

  • 5. nikki brown  |  October 16, 2009 at 2:39 pm

    judy!

    i loved reading this and seeing what you’re up to. you have an amazing attitude about life and personal fulfillment- something a “good” mother often struggles with. i admire that.

    you have always been a fantastic mother! your kids are all amazing human beings. :-)

    congratulations for following your life-long urge! i hope to see you around christmas and/or at andy’s wedding!
    nikki

    ps- are you still practicing yoga? has yoga helped you tap into your creativity?

  • 6. Judy Stuhl  |  October 16, 2009 at 5:37 pm

    Hi Nikki, Thank you for your kind words. I am still practicing and it has helped me to take the time to breathe, both in the physical and mental sense. I find that when you focus inwardly, your mind is more receptive to whatever comes your way. I truly believe that the art class I am taking has had the biggest influence. I’ve become more confident in my art skills and it’s also helped me to percieve the world through a different set of eyes. I am looking forward to seeing you again; hopefully we’ll be able to celebrate the holidays together. Namaste!

  • 7. Julie Hauck Kastor  |  October 29, 2009 at 5:56 am

    Thank you Judy for such an inspirational peice! As a working mother of three you sure gave me some thoughts to ponder…especailly “Do what you like not what you think you should do.”
    Sounds like you have found the ideal job! that is after first being an amazing mom! I have only met one of your children (Andrew) and know what a wonderful person he is…..and see where he gets it! I look forward to meeting you and the rest of the Stuhls in July!

  • 8. Judy Stuhl  |  November 4, 2009 at 3:42 pm

    Thank you Julie for your kind words. We are all looking forward to meeting you, Pete and Ariana’s family in July….eight months and counting…

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Andrew Stuhl is a Ph.D student at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. on this blog, he gives advice about how to succeed in academia and in the life that follows. learn more

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